“For myself I wondered at that moment if I could ever live a normal life, a nonfugitive life, after all this, after all that I’d been through. It seemed impossible that there was a life beyond the river, beyond the mountain of broken brick. I wondered if I would ever eat a hot dog at Wrigley Field again. If I really choose this warrior life, if I go on and refuse to pull back to normalcy, will I ever have another chance? How much will I suffer? This bizarre and violent time, this ritual of combat, this surreal setting combined with ferocious demons vomited into the dark-eyed night, pursuing me now with anonymous, deadly hatred. I was sure of only one thing: whatever happened next, I was choosing with eyes wide open, and while I might be wrong or foolish, limited and inadequate, mine would not be the suffering of the hapless victim. I might get crushed, but I would never complain and I would never bring suit. Life’s tough. Get a helmet.”

Posted April 21, 2003

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