Linguist, lexicographer, radio host, public speaker

Month: November 1999


  • Paranoia

    Flashes like cars in parking lots. Hot paranoia. In the library, outside its windows too close to the street, people could be purposely letting off car alarms, irrationally backing up trucks, pointlessly hammering wood. Investigate to find the noise is purposeless. Not being stolen, idling in reverse, scavenging nails from plywood. Nails are cheap. Same…

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  • Bathroom

    “I’ve got a great idea. You know how when you’re in the bathroom you’re just sittin or standin there starin at the wall? Wouldn’t that be a great place for ads?” Ideas invented too late by unqualified citizens. Been done. Where were you? Lost. Not paying attention. Other behavior. Men’s bathrooms, country-wide, have snot above…

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  • Repetition

    Line to keep using in analysis and critiques: “Man’s attempt to be God-like.” New York City radio cycles, recycles, spins, turns, spews. Four thousand morning talk shows, eight thousand funnymen, four thousand sidekicks. Steal jokes off Internet. Who notices? Shoot jukebox record changer. Spit on his kids. Top of the top forty bad ideas of…

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  • Creation Myths

    Crucial. Must not forget. Montage at beginning summing up creation not enough. Superman I, fine. Mystery Men, not fine. We want proofs, evidence, support. Make them then use them. Characters need a history. Most of a film should be character development, but honest, not clever. Malkovich flick is good. Princess flick is good. French dinner…

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  • Content

    Burt is a guy who steals computers for the content. Steals central processing units, disks, peripherals, all storage. Checks it out. Sorts it. Categorizes it. Likes digital sticky notes, email. Packages the words, ideas, lives contained. Sells them to dry writers, blocked writers. Huge money. City filled with dry writers. Need one great idea. Dismiss…

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  • When to stop reading

    Stop reading when it says, “I’m not a lawyer, but…”

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