Browsing Month July, 2001

Hoo’s a man supposed tae putt wi’ a’ thae bluidy fishin’ boats fleein’ aboot?

“A player whose stroke is affected by the simultaneous explosion of a bomb or shell or by machine-gun fire, may play another ball from the same place. Penalty one stroke.”

Wherever they’re released, they’re going to wreak havoc

“I’m telling you, these people are crazy. Most are very psychotic. Many don’t speak English. We’ve got some that are talking to the Lord and think they are the devil.”

Our chance for a squirrel in City Hall

“Staten Island people generally like me more. In the Bronx, I’d do significantly worse.”

Welfare recipients predict rioting if their checks stop arriving

“This will be a change for a lot of people. Some people just don’t understand because they grew up on welfare.”

Can he then play with his own innards?

“Otherwise it won’t take. It would be like trying to graft skin onto a tabletop.”

Two elderly women clutched their purses a bit tighter and changed seats

“Liz taught me a clever way to amuse oneself on the subway, and we played together all the way from Wrigley Field to the Loop. It’s very simple: during the clattering cacophony raised by the train while it is running, talk quietly to one another and, as the train slows to enter a station, one more…

It’s been a horror show. It’s made my dream house a hell hole

“I grew up here. I remember when this place was God’s country. People used to come here to see. Now people come here to be seen. That is ego, attitude and affluence. Empty illusory nonsense. They are robbing themselves and robbing us of the peace, quiet, history and relaxation that’s actually possible here.”

Long before she wrote stories, she listened for stories

“It had been startling and disappointing to me to find out that storybooks had been written by people, that books were not natural wonders, coming up of themselves like grass. Yet regardless of where they came from, I cannot remember a time when I was not in love with them

Payday loans: They’re gouging the people who can least afford it

“At a payday loan outlet, she wrote a postdated check for $345 to receive the $300 she would need for the operation

If spraying her scent doesn’t work, she could head-butt competitors

“The best real estate ploy I’ve heard so far is that a woman broker for a large real estate company pees in each corner of the property she’s selling to ‘mark her spot.’ She says it helps with sales.”