A store with every possible permutation of pipe, but not a working register

“Azad owns about nine buildings and has perfected the black art of slumlordery. When I lived in one of his other apartments, I saw garden hose in the place of piping in bathrooms, pennies jammed into fuse boxes, entire closet walls made of caulking and spackle tape, electric lights powered by inserting loose wires into outlets, and, in the backyard, a small mountain of Army surplus typewriters, stacked up against the window of my living room and exposed to the elements. He tried to sell me one when I asked about them. ‘Just like new, except for the leaves,’ he said.”

Posted April 11, 2001

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