Month: April 2001
She: I certainly didn’t feel drunk. Maybe it was the company I was keeping
“Convinced he was not drunk, his gestures were more sweeping, and his urge to talk to the French women at the next table was overwhelming. Yet, crucially, his rate of drinking had not slackened. He had nonetheless proved that women have not evolved sufficiently to handle more than three, or four pints at a time.…
They say London swings, but it’s more like seething, straining or struggling
“Commuters, by their nature, are creatures of habit. They get to the station, come down the escalators, and wait for the train at the spot which will drop them at the most convenient place at the other end. Unfortunately, for all concerned, this means there is a huge bottleneck at one end of the platform.…
Glue traps are inhumane, yes, but if they’ll rid Washington of the rodents…
“In late 1989 staffers in the House Legislative Counsel office, located in Room 136 of the Cannon Building, discovered that a foot-long rat had been living inside a 9-foot-long, 4-foot-high Xerox machine, chewing apart wires and leaving behind a trail of droppings, banana peels, corn cobs and a sealed plastic baggy with a Hostess Twinkie.…
When talk-show hosts call for the internment of Chinese-Americans, I feel queasy
“Understand this: Even though I am of Chinese descent, I am no stool pigeon for the People’s Republic of China or its leaders. I am not privy to their thinking or strategizing about positioning China in the unpredictable geopolitical landscape of the 21st century.”
Literary people say you need to send a poet up to describe it, not engineers
“Twelve hours after floating in space on my first mission, I was queued up at a fried-chicken outlet in Houston. That brings you down to Earth pretty quickly.”
Target uses a song in a commercial, seemingly oblivious to the dark message
“Being in a band is really great when you’re 20. When you’re 30, it’s kind of Spinal Tap, and when you’re 40, it’s just pathetic.”
Coyote: a 14-year-old who supports his glue-sniffing habit by smuggling people
“5:30 a.m., Agua Prieta: The mud puddles have a skin of ice upon them. Antonio has been on the road for 30 hours straight, traveling the 1200 miles to the Arizona border. He stumbles off the fourth and final bus in his journey, the freezing air hitting him with a blast. He has never felt…
America is viewed as weak because two huge corporations can’t beat one fat guy
“It was very late on a Saturday night; the place was packed. Two women in plaid skirts and T-shirts which read ‘Go Satan’ were running around, spanking people. There were four cops there, friends of Mr. Westmoreland, who was shirtless and had over 20 drinks in him. A pretty bartender was pouring shots down his…
Find the femur, neophyte! Lick my bumhole! Remove the plunger!
“There is more to Skull and Bones than the mystical mumbo-jumbo of its rituals. The rituals are less important than the relationships