Month: July 2001
Abner Doubleday never worried about frolicsome women, I bet
“It’s a cheap hobby, and it keeps me from falling into the company of frolicsome women.”
Valenzuela gave the mexicano population a kind of legitimacy
“Nicknamed El Toro, Valenzuela first ambled to the mound like some possessed vision endowed with superior gifts. The nearly unhittable left-hander was only 20, the youngest player in the National League. He was stocky, shaggy-haired, didn’t speak English. He was the seventh son, the youngest of a dozen children, reared in the Mexican hinterlands of…
Drug dealers could pay off the police, but not the citizens, who cost too much
“Simple fishermen became millionaires overnight. People were pouring into the local nightclubs and showering themselves with bottles of beer. In time, it corrupted the town at its most basic level. And today, the biggest impact of all this cocaine is a new sense of insecurity.”
They don’t work, but they pay the rent: must be drug dealers
“A lot of recent immigrants are hired by gang members who train them as front-line street dealers. We literally get guys with no shoes, Mexican money in their pocket and 100 bucks on them. They tell them that it’s easy money and there’s hardly any police around.”
The Chinese government realized there were $70 billion waiting to be invested
“I was restless, rushing about Beijing, chasing big money, scolding myself and blaming mistakes on others. To my great regret and dismay, during all of the sleepless weeks to come, I would come so very close to grabbing a million U.S. dollars, yet would be kept a fingertip away. How come? Because I got inside…
What they’re thinking about in Charlotte, North Carolina
“Recent Forum writers have criticized The Observer for publishing less-than-flattering photos of George W. Bush. Now comes ‘Picture didn’t show Cheney at his best.’ Clearly, this is a ‘Republican thing.’ May I suggest a solution? In future articles about Mr. Bush, substitute a photograph of a good-looking guy such as Mel Gibson or George Clooney.…
Congratulations, Canada, on 800 miles of paved road!
“Canadians spend a huge portion of their social life trying to define what it means to be Canadian. Americans never spend any time trying to define what it means to be American. Canadians have an identity crisis. We look like Americans. We sound like Americans. We know everything about Americans. They know nothing about us.…
I guess rumours are more exciting than the truth
“I don’t want to open my month anymore. Every time I do, all that’s printed is lies. I’m scared. I’ll never talk again. It’s all lies. I don’t speak English anymore.”
See, you got off on the wrong foot by even going into a Starbucks
“Thanks to the success of Starbucks it is now possible to have a reasonably good cup of coffee almost anywhere in the States. On Day One, I popped into my nearest for my morning Latte. ‘Small, large, regular, Go or Stay,’ the young Hispanic assistant barked in one breath. ‘I beg your pardon,’ I replied.…
The man who goes abroad and retruns with strange customs is a recurring figure
“Unless you curse, eat meat with your bare hands, spit on the ground and scratch your crotch, you are considered something less than a man there. My own brothers are like that.”