Linguist, lexicographer, radio host, public speaker


“I’ve got a great idea. You know how when you’re in the bathroom you’re just sittin or standin there starin at the wall? Wouldn’t that be a great place for ads?” Ideas invented too late by unqualified citizens. Been done. Where were you? Lost. Not paying attention. Other behavior. Men’s bathrooms, country-wide, have snot above stalls and urinals. Flaky, chunky, all kinds. Not kidding. Lots must be doing this. Evidence everywhere. Guess they stand there, one hand high on the wall, one on johnson, thinking, I could be doing two things at once. My nose. It itches, is full. Now is the time. Then they blow it out. No tissues. No interfering hand. Nice bathrooms, maybe not. Busy bathrooms, for certain.

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Grant Barrett