Ever since we bought some delicious clementines at the farmer’s market, I’ve been composing new verses to “Oh My Darling, Clementine.” She dies of a new accident in each one. It’s easier to make up new verses to songs I half remember than it is to hunt down the real words and memorize them.

She took some powder for the muskets
and made some biscuits in a pan.
She put the biscuits on the fire.
Now my darling’s in Japan.

Chorus: Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling, Clementine!
Thou art lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

She took a charge down into the mine shaft
so that she could make it blow.
The fuse was fast and getting faster.
Oh, my darling, she was slow.

(chorus)

She took an axe and took a hatchet
and cut some lumber for the mine.
She was killed by timber last December
Oh, my darlin’ Clementine.

(chorus)

Chased the cattle from the garden
and up into the trees.
My darlin’ was made a bookmark
By a Holstein and falling leaves.

(chorus)

Found a rattle on the prairie.
She wrapped and tied it in a case.
She gave her boy the pretty present.
He got two fangs stuck in his face