Month: February 2001
For the past eight years, starting on August twelfth, Ruth Young lost her voice
“When she was not in a hurry, she enjoyed listening to her friend’s ramblings. Wendy was a divining rod for strange disturbances in the earth’s atmosphere. She was witness to bizarre sights: three homeless albinos living in Golden Gate Park, a BMW suddenly swallowed up by an ancient septic tank in Woodside, a loose buffalo…
Only 33 million drinkers in Britain? That number’s a little low, isn’t it?
“There are more important things for trading standards officers to be chasing instead of pints of beer. The next thing will be the froth in cups of cappuccino.”
Tear gas, curfew, citizen watch and mass deportation should be considered, too
“In a serious riot situation, helicopters and tanks arguably could be appropriate.”
At the start of the last century it was the most popular and oft-cooked meat
“When does a lamb technically become mutton? Between one and two years old, it is still classed as hogget, thereafter it’s mutton. The optimal eating time is four years, although in the past, mutton was eaten much older.”
I thought that’s what the hankie code was for, to find a pair that matches
“Jeff: So did you dress in the dark or what? Brad: Why? Jeff: Honey, those pants, that shirt? Brad: You’re saying these don’t go together? Jeff: Those not only don’t go together, it appears that they had a rancorous relationship followed by a rather nasty breakup. They should make Gay Garanimals for people like you.”
Boots, long coats, dresses with side and back slits. I think I’ll have a shower
“A Ukrainian woman can seem to make magic of just a few pieces of cloth. An ensemble is generated, beautifully it seems out of almost nothing in the way of a complete wardrobe. And the result is magnificent. An American woman with three closets of clothes ‘can’t find anything to wear.’”
When his human behavior extended to making a pass at his female trainer…
“It’s very cruel to raise chimps as though they were human. You put them between two worlds, and they don’t belong to either one. And when they get too big and strong to handle, people get rid of them, without providing for their future. They expect nonprofit organizations to clean up after their mistakes.” “
Executive oversight
“Policy makers, like the President, do not have time to read all the other countries’ newspapers… there are just too many of them. Also, there is information that other countries will not share with the United States, called secrets. All this information is very important to our nation’s leaders.”
Chris Rock, America’s first black president
“You just know when it’s ready. You get cocky on stage. You feel like Mick Jagger, and you just did ‘Start Me Up,’ and you know you
People tend to toss trash at cans and miss
“Hello?! This is a city. We need our cans back. People have started hanging dog poop on the chain-link fence. By summer, it’s going to be really ugly.”