Linguist, lexicographer, writer, editor, broadcaster

I’m Wayne calling from the Chronicle. Do you like knowledge?

“‘My alarm clock didn’t go off,’ I offer as an excuse for my afternoon tardiness. Brian gives me my own personal cubicle. He informs me that none of the three people I trained with showed up for work. ‘They’re weak,’ he says. No, they’re smart. I’m the sole survivor, and I’m only here to cause trouble. ‘You’ve got to promise me you’ll stick with this for at least two weeks,’ Brian pleads. Little does he realize that approximately midway through my shift I will abruptly stand up, scream, and run out of the building.”

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Grant Barrett