Linguist, lexicographer, writer, editor, broadcaster


An ex-girlfriend of a guy I’m working with called him up. She tells him something like this: “You know that Blazer I drive. Remember how when the gas gets low the fuel intake cuts out? I lose brakes and power steering? Well, the other day I’m on the LIE” The Long Island Expressway. “and it happens. I’m merging with traffic at high speed. The power’s gone. I come directly at traffic that roars by in front of me. Here I am, high up in my Blazer, and I’m travelling almost perpendicularly at merge speeds toward automobiles that are crossing my T. I’ve got no brakes, no steering, I’m traveling like a bat out of hell. It’s crash and die. “So I do the only thing I can. I jump out. I fling the door open, jump out into a nice tuck-and-roll, and spring to my feet. One guy asked me later if I’m a stuntwoman. It was perfect. “I’m standing on the little concrete triangle separating the main thoroughfare from the merge lane and I watch the Blazer plow into the side of a car. Two more travelling behind it fail to stop in time and ram into the mess. “I’m all right, but the Blazer is totalled. And I’m being sued by three people.”

author avatar
Grant Barrett